I like winter, I like autumn too, but a drop in temperature from the high 20s to 7 degrees centigrade between Gibraltar and here is just silly. I mean, look here, what the fuck? Anyway, it's good to be back, I've been back for nearly six days but I've been busy, everything is frosty and gorgeous.

So, I'm married now, that still sounds weird. Jenny's trying to get used to being a Mrs, which she likes a lot.

Thak you to everyone for the good wishes etc

We had a few days of running around like headless chickens sorting out last-minute and totally unexpected paperwork and costs which was a nightmare. But as soon as we'd got everything signed and sealed we began to relax. The ceremony was cool, turned up and kicked around in the garden because the couple in there before us didn't speak any English and the registra was trying to go through the whole thing in broken Spanish instead. So we sat around out there with the resident tortoises (I swear to god if I hear one more person call a tortoise a turtle I'll start breaking things, it's a tortoise, it walks on the land, it has feet not flippers, look!), who took the opportunity to show us how sex is meant to be done, apparently head-butting should feature heavily in foreplay. The registra called us in and went through how the ceremony goes, he was a really friendly guy, he had a really endearing way, of, uh, talking, in this really soft, uh, hesitant way, he was cool, I dunno, he could've been a war criminal for all I know, I was just happy to be there.

So, what else did we do out in Gib? We went out to watch the dolphins pissing about in the sea, that was cool. We went out twice, the first time the sea was flat, the sky was clear and the boat was pretty much empty, we saw hundreds of the cunning bastards out there, showing off with their swimming and jumping. The second time we went out we were surrounded by mist until the visibility was minimal, hardly saw anything and the boat was crammed by the kind of people who make me ashamed of my nationality, yes I can be a snob.

What else? We went up the rock to see the apes, they were cool, they've made a civilisation based on stealing food, money and car parts from tourists. One jumped on my back which was cool and looked "like when Luke Skywalker is training with Yoda on his back", he sat on the top of my bag and after giving my camera strap an experimental chew rested his head against mine and appeared to try to take a nap. So while everyone else was taking photos and yelling instructions as to how to remove the cheeky beast from me, I was trying to look over my shoulder and saying in my calmest and softest voice 'it's time to get down now, there's a good boy' until he agreed and climbed down, cheeky monkey. I was very impressed with myself for not panicking and running around screaming.

So, in the evenings we headed up to The Rock Hotel (which is gorgeous) and sat out on the terrace to drink cocktails, scotch and sangria, that was all good, it was nice to hang out with my family for a while, watching the sun set behind the Spanish mainland, there was an owl calling every evening, lizards darting across the walls and praying mantisis...isis, s'was all very cool, I enjoyed it all thoroughly.

Plenty of photos, awaiting emails and discs of what my brothers took before I put it all together to show people.

Yeah, so, I'm married, what's next? My little sister very unsubtley told us she wants to be an aunt, ha!

Remember kids, long distance relationships don't work and never, ever meet someone in person that you met on the internet, ever.